The search engine "Yandex" for the query "looking for a sponsor" gives out 22 million results, "looking for a kept woman" - 15 million. Content women today are looking for men to solve their financial problems through specialized dating sites.
Such women do not need to seek and devote romantic evenings to them, they are already ready for much for the sake of sponsorship. What is the danger of such a way of life, is there a "Kept Woman's Code" and how much does one dinner with a man cost - a young girl and a sponsor anonymously told a RIA Novosti correspondent.
Svetlana (name changed at the request of the heroine), 23 years old. For the last year he has been living at the expense of sponsors:
A man in a skirt
Several years ago I graduated from high school and came to St. Petersburg from the Siberian province. Mom and Dad never made millions, so when I entered the university, I decided not to be a burden to them. I took three jobs at once to support myself.
There is such a rude word "plow" - it is ideally applicable to modern girls. We ourselves have taught men that it is ugly to ask for help, as if you would look materialistic.
My then chosen one refused to help, but at the same time demanded attention and care from me. It was as if I had become "a man in a skirt": I was only thinking about how I could make money. Debts were strangled from all sides.
Kept woman's code
Out of despair, I went to the site for sponsors and kept women. The first impression was “horror, how can you sell yourself to an unfamiliar man?” Then I looked closely at the questionnaires: some girls had several diplomas, wrote interesting short texts in the “About me” column. There were no selfies on their pages, where half of the screen is occupied by lips pumped with gel. Real girls who are looking for support - that's what sponsorship is called here.
At first I decided that such an acquaintance should be regarded as a business: I use my beauty - I get paid for it. But in fact it doesn't work that way. The girl herself decides for what purposes she becomes a kept woman. If you exhibit half-naked photos and write that you are ready for one-time meetings for 15 thousand rubles, then this is no different from prostitution. And the attitude is appropriate. The men of these girls are called "meat". You won't be able to earn a lot this way.
Now I am dating several men. They pay me about 200 thousand rubles a month. While this is a frivolous relationship, so there are several men. The main article in the unspoken "Code of the kept woman": if you find your man, you should only date him, because this connection is already based on feelings.
Portrait of a typical sponsor
A sponsor is most often the owner of a large enterprise, has a high status in society, but is deprived of female attention. Not all of them are married, many are divorced. It is not uncommon for a person to have never been married. But most often this is a person who is tired of a relationship with his wife, but does not plan to divorce. These men have no time to correspond or go to nightclubs and look for "the one". They work hard, do not look for dummies - they have no time to make mistakes.
Girl in car
You don't have to wait for men to write first. The same principle works here as on the bulletin board when looking for an apartment.
Men often clearly write their requirements in the questionnaire, for example: "I am looking for a girl for infrequent meetings, sex with mutual sympathy. Payment of 50 thousand rubles a month" or like this: "I am looking for a girl for a relationship - 150 thousand rubles a month."
Above average sponsors are beginning to think differently. They do not treat women as consumers, they are well-bred, call the kept woman "beloved" and do not require an intimate relationship - all by mutual sympathy.I met different men, and only one directly told me that he was looking for a mistress for one night. The rest, on the contrary, did not want to rush.
It is easy to stumble upon a maniac who disguises well, or a swindler who has nothing behind his soul. It is suspicious if the questionnaire is partially filled out or there is no photo. Not a single girl is safe from danger. I ask to send a photo in private messages in order to understand who I am communicating with. The true sponsor will agree, and the charlatan will back up.
You can calculate the deception from the snapshot. The first is the quality of the shooting. If the photo is not clear, chances are that it was taken with a cheap phone. The second is how a person is dressed, his posture and surroundings. If he photographs a wad of money or expensive cars, this is 100% fake. Very often, a real sponsor looks like a simple person: on the street, maybe you would even walk past him.
Then I ask for a phone number and transfer the communication to instant messengers so as not to be tied to the resource. Many potential sponsors follow how often the girl appears on the Web. They can end the relationship if they suspect that you have someone else.
Of course, you can't get into your pocket. On the first date, you pay attention to the level of the restaurant to which you were invited, what the person eats, how he pays, and whether he leaves a tip.
Couple in restaurant
There are several topics that give out "rogue". You need to understand real estate in order to understand where a person lives: if, for example, in Repino there is expensive housing, and on Prospect Veterans or Ladozhsky it is cheap. A girl herself must understand politics, technology, cars in order to distinguish an old BMW from a new Porsche.
However, a maniac can be a skillful deceiver. No one here can help you. But, if something worries me, then I write to my friends, where I am, I get in touch every hour. Until the intuition failed.
How and how much money is asked
Sponsors do not like it when they are perceived as a money bag, so on the first date you don't even hint about money, otherwise the man will refuse to communicate. You should never complain about a lack of attention or problems at work or at home. You always have to be in a good mood. You will not be asked whether you are tired, whether you have slept well. He is not interested in hearing about your problems, he has enough of his own. But the lack of attention is compensated by money.
Girl takes money from a man
Money is immediately given in small amounts. For manicure, spa, and other little things. You should not spread in hints, but very specifically make it clear what is needed, while it is indecent to say the amount right away until the sponsor asks you about it. Gradually, the level of trust rises - the amounts are growing. There is no limit as such, for someone even 300 thousand a month will not be enough, but you cannot be impudent. Now I want to ask for money to start a business. I know that sooner or later I will stop depending on my man. Nikolay, 45 years old. Divorced, has been in contact with kept women for more than five years:
I am a large business owner. Since my youth, I have strived to create a serious enterprise that will make money. My relationship with my wife did not work out: I was practically not at home, and she suspected me of treason. When we divorced, I could not get to know anyone for a long time. It constantly seemed that I was being used because I was rich and no one was interested in who I was and what I was thinking.
I met my first kept girlfriend by chance, in a restaurant. Her straightforwardness attracted me. So we agreed that I give her money for any needs, and she sees in me a person, not a wallet. True, greed ruined her all the same. Taking advantage of my gentle nature, she pulled money out of me, not thinking how I felt. This is essentially a light version of prostitution.
Now it's easier for me not to go to bars, but to pay for access to sites and look for girls for pleasant communication without leaving the office. Most often they write themselves, and you just choose.I try to limit the number of meetings in one girl: three or four times a week. I do not like importunity. If she suits me as an interlocutor for several months, I suggest an intimate relationship. But this usually happens earlier and not on my initiative.
Girl with phone
I need a girl who will listen to me. She needs to look good in case you have to go out with her. I do not accept mat, body tattoos or piercings. Only natural beauty. About whether she has a relationship on the side, I prefer not to know. This model of relationships seems to me ideal: I get joy from life, and a woman - material independence.
It is noticeable when a girl does not want to do anything and dreams of sitting on her neck, this is wrong. I am not a bank that gives endless credit. It's another matter when she does not have enough funds for development. I want to help such people without thinking about the amounts. In theory, marriage is possible with a kept woman, but more often girls themselves do not agree to a serious relationship. They like their independence: there seems to be a patron, but at the same time she has the right to flirt with someone else. This is a dangerous game.
Irina Parfenova, a practicing psychologist, comments:
Any marriage is a contract, its classical form, when they decide to be together "in sorrow and in joy." In the case of content, the relationship is more like a commodity-money exchange. For girls, this is more like a job for which she receives status and prosperity. However, due to wear and tear, the "product" can always be replaced with a more recent model.
For a man, having a young girl nearby is a way to show his success and solvency, as well as an illusory opportunity to prolong youth.
Such a relationship has practically no effect on the future of a man. But girls have two options: a relationship can become the start of her future career and a wealthy life, if the girl is smart enough, or the beginning of neurosis, when there is a habit of living with a high quality of life, but there is no skill to create it. Then, after ending the relationship, the girl loses both status and prosperity.
The kept woman Svetlana is sure that the sponsor has every right to have relationships with several girls at the same time, so it is important not to get attached:
"Not everyone will agree to such a relationship format: more often than not, you will never become a truly beloved woman for this man.
The life of a kept woman is fascinating, I know stories when adult women were so forgotten that they did not notice how the decades passed, and they did not start a family, did not provide for themselves. After all, you cannot be supported by different men all your life. Such women are not needed by anyone.
Often, sponsors and kept women develop relationships that develop into marriage. But this is rather an exception to the rule - rarely will anyone allow a woman who initially positions herself as a seller of her beauty and mind. But the most important thing is that the sponsor will never look at the kept woman with condemnation. For him, she is a muse who inspires."