Some men are not able to change, even if a woman tries, supports, surrounds with attention and care. Family psychologist Alexander Shakhov is convinced that 6 out of 10 men have the status of a loser.
Psychologist Alexander Shakhov
“I am often approached by women who are disappointed in their men. They tell how they tried to help them change, how they motivated them, but to no avail. Unfortunately, we have to admit that this is the experience of building a relationship with a loser. There are many examples in history when men really changed their life values, character, took fate into their own hands, but they were not losers from the very beginning”,
- the psychologist shared his expert opinion. The psychologist formulated 5 signs of a failure. They should be remembered by every woman so as not to fall on the hook of such a man and not spend years of life on hopeless relationships.
1. Make grandiose plans
Losers avoid reality - they live on dreams in which they miraculously became billionaires and world famous people. They eagerly tell about these dreams to everyone around them, without thinking too much about how appropriate it is. If someone gets tired of hearing about it, they quickly look for a new interlocutor. A serious man doesn't say gop until he jumps. Because he values his reputation and does not want public shame.
2. Participate in questionable projects
Losers do not want to study for a long time and with concentration, work on themselves, break up a large task into many small ones and gradually move towards the goal. Instead, they believe in freebies and are constantly looking for a way to get rich in five minutes. Therefore, they regularly participate in financial pyramids, cryptocurrency fraud, do not hesitate to offer their loved ones goods from the network business. Naturally, they do not achieve success in their endeavors, but this does not teach them anything: immediately after one failure, they are happy to light up with a new "crazy project". While serious men know perfectly well: free cheese can only be in a mousetrap.
3. Postpone until tomorrow
Naturally, it is much easier and more pleasant for a loser to lie on the couch, watch MatchTV or a new video of his favorite blogger on YouTube, than to do something. Studying, training in the gym, refresher courses, looking for a job and building a career are all postponed until tomorrow. For many years. A serious man begins to act here and now.
4. Look for the culprit
Losers are characterized by infantilism: they never admit that they themselves are to blame for their failures, poverty, uncertainty. Bosses, taxes, parents, government, crooks, weather, negative emotions and - most importantly - a wife are at the extreme! And the loser himself is very smart and potentially successful: he knows how to make huge money, run a country, win the World Cup, but only on Monday his mother gave birth. The moon is in the wrong phase. The gypsy woman in the market spoiled. The partners were set up. The taxes in this country are unbearable. Envious people have cut down his talent in the bud. And if the wife, having worked two shifts, taking the children from school and going to the store, did not manage to cook sturgeon for such a husband with béchamel sauce, then she will be accused and humiliated. And if he forgot to wish her a happy birthday, it’s her fault that she didn’t remind him. A serious man is responsible for his actions and their consequences.
5. Themselves know everything
This is the foundation of all the troubles of a loser man: he is sincerely convinced that he knows everything and that he does not need to learn anything. This is cowardice, he is afraid to admit that he is not good enough at something, and therefore does not develop. He prefers to believe that he is the smartest in the world, and to give out advice and assessments to others (although he himself has a hole in his pockets). A serious man admits he doesn't know a lot. And if a lack of knowledge prevents him from achieving success, he goes and learns. There is another type of male failure - the "honest fool." He soothes himself with thoughts like: “Business is a fraud, only criminals succeed in it. And I am a good honest person, and I will wait until our government creates favorable conditions for honest earnings. " In other words, he waits until they start paying him "for beautiful eyes." There is also a "stupid idealist". He dreams of a time when good will reign in the world, and good people like him will receive a sack of gold each. And the "lazy fool". He is very fond of chatting, philosophizing, promising, doing deliberately useless deeds and, of course, does not get any result.
Alexander Shakhov stressed that it is impossible to fix a loser:
“Only 5% of such men, having lost everything, are able to change themselves. But no amount of motivation on the part of a woman will work here. It is useless to inspire - quit and look for a serious man, do not waste time. You only have one life."