What Will Offend Any Man

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What Will Offend Any Man
What Will Offend Any Man

Video: What Will Offend Any Man

Video: What Will Offend Any Man
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A woman can offend a man unconsciously, without realizing it. A man is unlikely to say about it, but he will definitely remember. And, perhaps, he will also unconsciously begin to take revenge, inflicting pain in return. Family psychologist, an expert on gender and family relations, Alexander Shakhov, explained that he hurts men the most. Doubts about him

Every man has the right to decide for himself who he is for himself and those around him. He identifies his status: he considers himself a strong fighter, a good driver, a successful businessman. Focusing on the status of each other, men distribute places in the male hierarchy and the benefits corresponding to them. Maintaining this status is a vital issue. If a young inexperienced male tries to claim the position of a leader, he brutally upsets him.

All men remember from childhood: as soon as you allow others to laugh at you, allow them to question their position, you will immediately find yourself at the bottom of the hierarchy. You will become an outcast. And the return of the previous status will require considerable effort and time.

When a woman jeopardizes her masculine identity, says, "You are nothing," the man becomes furious. The instinct of survival speaks in him, he seeks to punish the offender so as not to lose his status. But he cannot beat a woman as he would with a man. Therefore, an active feeling of rage turns into a passive one - resentment. And the man, under the influence of this offense, begins to take revenge, offend the woman. He cannot talk about his grievance - after all, then he admits his weakness. Therefore, if a man harasses you for a long time, remember if you have not touched his self-identification before.

Emotional betrayal

The male psyche is based on the values of two levels of life - physical and intellectual. That is why men are sometimes considered insensitive: they have rather low abilities for empathy, as well as emotionality in general. However, men are also people, and they experience emotions.

Since the emotional sphere is considered "not male", in society, male experiences are devalued ("men do not cry"), then it is supplanted by them. Men do their best to mask emotions, do not allow themselves to be sensitive, do not discuss their feelings with others. Considering that the emotional sphere is poorly developed, it is also the most vulnerable. Remember: if a man opens up, it is easy to hurt him.

Women often assume that men have their own level of emotional openness. If a partner, having overcome unconscious resistance, nevertheless becomes open, gentle, caring with his beloved, then a woman (as a person with a stronger emotional sphere) can hurt him. If a man, having opened, feels that the woman is ignoring him, his soul will close. Intellectual cheating

At heart, every man is a leader. All members of the "pack" agree with the views of the leader. Those who do not do this are traitors, enemies, they threaten his position. If a woman tells a man “head on” that he is wrong, especially if she does it in public, he perceives it as a riot on a ship and starts a war.

Women may be indignant: they say, you can't even have your own opinion? Can. But if you resent and demand, the man will not hear you, because he will perceive it not as a dialogue, but as a challenge. A man responds to war with war. Disagreement must be communicated tactfully.


The specialist cited a recent case. A married couple came to the consultation, in which a man was caught cheating.

“I asked the client why she wants to keep the relationship. The girl replied that she loves and appreciates as a man. He wants to forgive and return what was. Her husband said, "I'm not sure I still love her." I saw that the guy was going through, he was in pain. When asked if he regretted the betrayal, the client answered in the affirmative, but added that he was very tired of reproaches. Later, during the consultation, it turned out that seven years ago, the client had already caught him in correspondence with another woman, and since then has constantly accused him of this. For all seven years. Then there was no betrayal - only correspondence. But this was enough to reproach my husband for many years”,

- shared Alexander Shakhov.

The psychologist asked the client: "What did you miss in your relationship with your wife?" He replied: "Trust and respect." The client was shocked: she never thought that she was showing disrespect to her husband.

If a person repented and took all possible measures to make amends for his guilt, constant reproach for past sins humiliates him. Living with an executioner who tortures the past every day is very hard.

It is clear that the client felt anxiety and anxiety, was constantly afraid that she would actually be cheated on and abandoned, but if she decided to forgive for the correspondence, she had to change her negative emotions, and not dump them on the man. Mistrust can lead to very dire consequences.

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